Just Get in Line and Obey the Law!

If you live outside the USA, and you want to become a U.S. citizen, you can just get in line, and obey the law. Right?

I started talking to people about immigration pretty recently; I’m a new-comer in the debate. This angry advice to "get in line" sounded reasonable to me, so I took a look to see how it works. I try to avoid anger and sarcasm, but I failed when I looked at the USCIS website.  I’ll explain a little about what I found, but please take a look for yourself.

If you want to visit the USA but not stay, you need a visa; but we want to understand immigration, so for now, let’s skip the info on temporary visits and focus on naturalization and citizenship.

 If you want to immigrate -- to leave the country where you were born or where you are living now, and move to the USA, and stay -- there are just two steps. You apply for “naturalization,” or permanent residence status. That’s also called “getting a Green Card,” because when you finish the process and are approved, you get a card that says you can stay in the country and work legally, and the card is -- guess what? -- green. And after you get that, you wait a few years and then apply for citizenship.  It’s not complicated.

So start at the website for U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. It’s at http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/. Then click on “Green Card,” and there’s the info. 

There are a lot of different ways to get a Green Card.  The list is broken into four user-friendly categories, so you can figure it out quickly. The four are: (1) through your family, (2) through a job, (3) through refugee or asylum status, or (4) assorted other.

#1 - through family. Do you have family here? If so, the process will take years and years, depending on your nation of origin, but you have a chance. The wait-time depends on your relationship with an American citizen and on your country of origin, but there is a line for you to get into.  It will take years, but you can "get in line." 

If you are not related to an American citizen, let’s see what’s next.

#2 - through job. Are you a physician? Afghan translator? No?  Well, look over the list. You say you can do anything on a farm, anything in construction, anything on a car?  That’s admirable, but won’t get you a Green Card.  How about nuclear physicist? No?  You say you’re a fast learner with a strong back? That’s admirable, too, but that won’t get you a Green Card, either. How about the Panama Canal -- did you work there? No? Well, check the list.

The job list is highly specialized, and most people do not qualify.  So if you don't have a close relative and don't have one of these specialized skills, let's see what's next.

#3 - refugee or asylum seeker. Has anyone been trying to kill you, or has your family been starving for a long time? If your government has been trying to kill you, and you can prove it, and your government is NOT an ally of the United States, we can talk about this.  Gangs, you say? Sorry, that doesn’t count. But the gangs are financed by the government, you say? If you can prove it, we can talk.  You say they’re not killing you, just chopping off your genitals? Sorry, that doesn’t count, because the U.S. government tries to avoid religious debates about customs in other countries.  In general, if you’re getting shot at, we want to express sincere condolences, but millions of people are in the same boat, and we can’t take them all here. So apply, but don’t hang around the embassy too long. Remember: whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you strong!

#4 - other. Are you a Haitian refugee? How about an American Indian born in Canada? Check the list; there are a lot of little niches in the law.

None of this helps you? Don’t feel bad: most of the world is like that. 

To summarize, struggling to avoid anger and sarcasm: when people say that migrants who want to come to the USA should just get in line, it is clear that they have not looked at the process.  There's no line.